I headed out this weekend to do a bit of, I don't know, wondering in town - grabbed a milkshake and headed to the menswear dept. to scope out if anything was worth getting. Just before I headed into the shopping complex, as I was reaching for the glass doors I noticed a couple of mature ladies coming out from the other side, so as to not open the door on them, I let them reach the door first, upon them reaching the door and opening it, as they past me, one elderly lady said, "you've got to be strong nowadays - no more gentlemen left". This stuck with me for a few moments as I deciphered it. Then I realised. They were having a go at me for not opening the door for them. I became immediately irritated. At first at my failure to realise the need to open the door for them and then it was at the remark that followed.

My instinctive reaction was out of consideration for them, I had even considered opening the doors but somehow I hesitated - it was because I didn't want to create confusion at who was going for the door.

What slightly aggregates me is how these woman expected specific behaviour to an extent to mention it. I believe in the principle which they defended but I don't understand how something normally given for free out of kindness is handled that way. I almost feel like scowling passer bys that don't donate into collection buckets for charities. The more I think about this sentence, the more unsure I feel by these thoughts.

I don't usually remember what I dreamt the night before and according to experts 68% of us don't with an average of 10 dreams a week. Now I'm not one for keeping a dream diary - that smacks of being a little weird and I'm not one who really wants to read too much I to these things.

I know I'm one of those 68% that don't remember my dreams so when I do remember one - it's kind of surreal and you kind of hope it's got some sort of magic powers of predicting your fate or future - absolute junk probably but there you go, my first reaction.

So anyway, Saturday morning I woke up to a dream - and I dare say, I wanted to go back to sleep to continue it - I remember the last bit really well( and it involved a candles a tree-house and a beautiful foreign girl), so I tried to "get back" by persuading myself I was sleeping and just needed to be seamlessly transported back. That unfortunately, didn't work - I just got up and had breakfast remarkably disappointed. So I'm kinda a bit jilted missing the girl of my dreams for a bowl muesli.


So from this experience I can say that I found my dream girl but the route to my heart seems to be via my stomach.

A weird revelation became apparent to be today. I don't get lonely - ever. Not even bored. I just go on, get on, I don't really ever feel that I'm alone or that I need something.

Maybe that's because I was an only child at home(this sounds like a good reason I'm thinking...). So how I realised this was that i was pirched on my sofa, just finished playing a game on XBox(I won by the way :-)) and pulled my laptop out, stuck some music on and while I'm listening to it - and it came to me.

So what now? I dunno? Means nothing to me. Should it? Do I think so? Well i kinda am writing about it, so i guess i dont know for sure... But if i had to give an instant, instinctive reflex call on it, id probably say no. I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I do everything myself, my rules, my wants, my ambitions.

anyway, I think I'm pretty damn cool with that. I suppose I guess you look around at what everyone is doing and you compare yourself.

I guess I should hope that I never feel bored or lonely. Interesting thought though, you know psychologically...

Straight jacket please! thanks- oh wait, this ones too small...