Yesterday's run was tough. I had a cramp in my side from the very beginning and it just made it so much more difficult. At times I could slow down and just look at everything - that was nice, that just makes the cramp hurt less. But after while of looking around and slowing down, it dissipated and although it was easier, my remaining run was still quite strained.

Funny thing is that my time wasn't all that bad...huh wierd. I figure it's because I ain't sleeping too well lately. I run better on good sleep. I don't know what it is. I go to bed and just stare into the blackness of my eyelids and sometimes think, sometimes remember what happened in the day or something else. Maybe its the upcoming exams? Unhanded assignment? Work? Dunno... Its been like this for about a week now.

That said, I've been running, and gyming a lot and they say, "Don't eat too late". That's what everyone says. You should eat well before you go to bed. I don't always follow this, because at times I'm hungry before I go to bed, so I eat. Don't eat too late. That's what everyone else says.

You know, you start listening to what everyone says and you stop listening to what you say... I always find advice a particularly interesting paradox which, like most things, sure has its time and uses and wisdom. Far be it for me to entirely neglect others experiences but generally I feel only that our own experiences really tell us we're are living, albeit at a greater risk. But we're only talking about sleeping here. But maybe they're right in this instance(eating before bed). 

Anyway, the other day, a while back now, over the weekend, I was walking back from the gym at night, I was about to pass a bus stop and then I glanced real-quick at its contents, and then this one girl stepped out of the darkness towards me and asked me if I could buy them(two girls) tobacco from this news agent, she pointed at it, behind the bus stop. It was lit up, the bus stop was in the dark, it was around ten at night, Saturday, and I looked at them, then at the street, maybe I seemed friendly or something but it just seemed out of place really, too young, pretty but too young to be smoking. I said "yeah, if they take cards, but I doubt it" which I know they don't normally take. But it was risky because some do. They asked again, would I do it for them? I looked at them, hesitated, but found what I wanted to say easily as my brain was particularly on the ball that night, surprisingly and I said with a certain kinda casual finesse: "I'd prefer not to". They turned and said ok. I said ok. And that was that. Capish. And I thought to myself slightly hazed, "yeah, I'd prefer not to..." And kept repeating that to myself as I crossed the road wondering how my brain had delivered so well all by itself, so automatically as if I wasn't part of the internal discussion. I carried on thinking about my just-now fancy footwork as i walked on towards the train station. Felt like the right thing to do but I felt like automatic. I'm not sure what else I might have said. Still, I thought about that as I climbed onto the Train towards Waterloo. Bizarr-o!

That was Saturday evening. Earlier I had bought myself a new pair of shoes that I'd been scrutinising and had agonisingly considered for the past three weeks. I also bought a blue shirt and a belt to go with these new leather shoes of mine. I went for a walk in them around Wimbledon common. It was a good day and they felt real good, are modest and strong. I wish everything was like this.

There is this laundrette down the road from me. It's classic. Ive said this before, I might have seen it in a movie somewhere. It's vintage really, real 80's. one day I'll visit I think. Just to see.

I have found myself thinking about a very interesting phrase lately. It's about stupid risks that some people take. For example, taking the decision to cross a busy road or perhaps less stupid but still a good example, hurling ones self of a bridge attached to an elastic band or dispatching oneself from a moving airplane only to hurry back down to earth...that sort of stupid junk. Anyway, The phrase is that "you only die once". Right? makes complete and utter sense to me. And as such why risk it? Anyway that's how I feel about Bungie jumping, crossing busy roads and to a limited degree the tube collapsing and dying generally...because generally you only die once. Unless you don't, but if that happens one should keep that to yourself, generally. I sound paranoid or scared but I'm not I'm just real curious and careful! Now that I think about it, perhaps I am paranoid, like that guy in the movie, "Fantastic fear of everything" where the dudes convinced that all people have an agenda which is to kill him. But I'm sure if I told him my little phrase, he'd understand...

My very specialized running watch had a brain fart this evening and logged only 6 minutes or my run today. Thats all I have to say about that.

I went outside and it was raining. I was hungry and it was that time. I dropped into the local salad shop and bought my usual healthy salad with chicken(for protein), it was still raining so I had my lunch there. After I was through with it, I walked down to the station and bought a magazine and figured that I'd sit down and read it in a coffee shop. So I went into W.H Smiths and bought a Scientific American Mind. I don't really like reading about current affairs. I guess, I should be more intune with the world around me but sometimes if I forget about it, it doesn't influence or affect me. I ordered a grande latte. The girl who served me was nice. I picked up my coffee at the end of the line and carried it with me where I sat down and sipped it before finding the index page in the mag. I read an article about MS(Multiple Sclerosis) and about negativity and the damage it may do to suppress ones own negative thoughts as they can be as therapeutic as positive thoughts are. That was interesting and the coffee was nice. I kept on reading for an hour, and thats how long it took me to finish my coffee too. I'm getting used to people around all the time, even while I'm reading, eating or even running. In this article I was reading, they said that if you try to suppress something and try to avoid it, you tend to dream about it. That's called a rebound dream. I get that sometimes. Its when I can't figure out how to do something in my head but need to. I go home and sleep and dream about it but I figure it out in the morning. Its not a negative thing, its a positive thing. I guess it might be related to stress in not knowing how to do it and then my mind goes into hyperdrive and figures it out. I wonder how much of a psychological toll that has on ones subconscious because we can't feel our subconscious' anguish. Anyway whatever. I had two bowls of cereal this morning, that was too much. I enjoyed it though - its this cinnamon cereal - real nice.

I'm working rather contently at work lately, all my rebound dreaming is paying off it seems and things don't seem as complicated as they were when I started. I pulled out my desk fan today and put it on my desk and it is nice to have it blowing in my face as I work at my desk. I discussed some designs with some of the guys at work about the work I'm doing and we found a flaw which I think I'm going to have to come up with a solution for. I had to think about it so I decided to go for another a coffee break with a colleague, but didn't talk about it, I just needed some fresh air and coffee - actually I didn't have coffee at all I had an orange juice at the coffee shop. I'll have to think about it more. Tomorrow is Friday and thats a good thing. Heard something funny today: This girl rolls over to her boyfriend in bed and says, "Why don't you ever take me some place expensive?" To which he replies, "Baby, get dressed, I'll take you some place expensive." and she says, "Where you taking me?" and he says, " to The Gas Station."

I don't even know where I heard this today but I did somewhere. You know, I probably wasn't even paying attention and was concentrating on something else and the funny part is, I can't remember what that was either but i can remember the thing I wasn't paying attention to) And here I am thinking about it now. All this sorta strange madness loosely amuses me somewhat.

I also thought about that disease where you can just fall asleep spontaneously at any point in the day without any notice. I watched a documentary about it once before on tv but thought about it today when seeing people cross the road a busy high street crossing. If that happened just before you crossed, you're done for and I wonder who fault it is and how unfair life is if that happened? Yes, my thoughts wonder off alone unaccompanied at times…

brI had a 96% sleep lat night, around 7 hours and 43 minutes. Thats real good and I'm going to try that again tonight. I got to run tomorrow .I got to sleep. And it's still raining outside...

I got an Achilles twitch in my right ankle. I think it's because I was not concentrating on my last run. I think it's because I was not concentrating on my last run. You can't just throw your legs in front of you and land on them. Er, well you can, but it's not good because you tend to not care about how you landed and will not be able to recover from bad footing in uneven surfaces and thus you'll be prone to injury like mine. And besides its careless. So I'm kinda irritated with this because I know that should not run tonight. I want to run tonight. We'll see.I didn't run that night, figured that I should let it rest. Good thing I did because over the bank holiday weekend I did two more 6.7km runs and although I felt perhaps a hint of a twitch, it was all good by the time I went running. Both good runs as far as I'm concerned: sub 5mins per Km.

Last week I created a cool programming mechanism/solution which did the job it was designed to do. Then I tried to use and extend it beyond what it was meant for to no avail. Basically I wasted 3 days trying that. Today I'm -3 days in but have some idea on how I'm going to do it but will need some speed and fancy footwork. Space to think, is for me, as being productive straight away. Especially when I got a problem like this. Like in layout, they say negative space is essential design principle. I guess it's the same for me. Unless I'm just slow. Quite possible.

Good weekend though. Made some real headway into one of my projects. Was supposed to study but I didn't feel like it, the thing I'm studying is useless - I'm toying with the idea of dropping it so I can replace it but I've just got in too far really to do that. Argh.

Been great sunshine this weekend. Tried to find some laptop memory for my old but trusty HP Compaq NC6320 but to no avail, I even tried the next town...no I don't think I even need it. Sunday I went for a walk around the common, enjoyed watching this black golden retriever repeatedly fetch a tennis ball thrown into the pond. Can a golden retriever be black? Huh dunno. It was a like seeing a picture if a holiday resort, everyone was out, basking in all their splendour. Colours all over all which way you look. Basking girls in the sun are pretty sexy. You need a certain almost blind confidence to make it through days like that.

Note to myself: I need a cross over cable because deploying java apps onto my app server is terribly slow over wifi. End note to myself.

I also went to watch Iron Man 3 which having been told was not really that good, was absolutely brilliant and I enjoyed it very much. So much for trusting the advice of others, you got to love your own life, it's like I told my dad, trust no one. That's from the X files TV series now come to think about it. I had breakfast at 4am, that's when I woke. It was an uncomfortably warm night. I got up a few times, I don't think I could make it on the coast without a lot of training. I had a colder shower than usual which was nice. I checked some code in; put some veg(I know in the morning right after cereal) in the steamer and eat that later on. I know I've not had a great deal of veg lately so felt the need to do it today, now. Packed my jacket into my rucksack, got a bottle of water, wedged that into the side pocket and I'm off.

I'm on the tube, pulling into Oval tube station now. We've been traveling for about 15 minutes. Half way. Got my iPod in, it's going to be a good day!