I started running again. It was a hard run. Still over 6 and a half k's or so. It was hard and I think its down to the 4weeks I've been out. Yesterday I decided to goto gym at 8pm and did some weights. I forgot to start my start stop watch but doesn't really matter. I think once you get past proving to yourself you can do something, and you get over recording it - you've got nothing to prove anymore, i think thats a positive thing. Still, kinda irritated that I watched my heart rate the whole time and it wasn't even recording it. Watched a film called Lockout and Wall-e. Two films I liked. I'm drinking way to much coffee when I go out. I had like 4 cups when going into the City. Its funny how you do stupid stuff like that. I bought a slim-fit polo shirt which is pretty cool - the price was pretty un-cool but hey its easter I figured. Trying to concentrate on my stuff has been really hard - the distractions are just too great sometimes. I can goto the gym, go to London etc.. everything except some of the things I'd like to do. but then again, if i don't find time to do them, are they really what I want to do? Bit of psychology there. There was this really strange theme from Wall-e I noticed and it all related to a phrase that was not mentioned but was mentioned elsewhere, "do robots fall in love?". I swear I heard that somewhere before, but in any case, thats what happens in Wall-e which is kinda cute. I was thinking about writing again but again I'm not sure. Its just not right time, I could write while I'm traveling, when I go traveling next year. I guess I could do that, couldn't I? Maybe i should just start writing something and figure it all out as i go, it will be my first crack at writing a story and I'm not a fan of trying to be perfect anyway(story of my life, right? I went to the cinema too, saw Trance which I enjoyed. I figured,sillily(is that even a word?), that I have only have 54 years left to live and that in 2066 I will likely die(yeah, i know that sounds weird and a bit morbid). Its a strange feeling knowing that, kinda makes you appreciate each day, doesn't it? I'll be 80 years old.. Anyway I got 54 years to figure that out. Now, I need a soda and a long walk. One of the things that sometimes trips me up is how wonderful life is, I mean sometimes I get down and out and I'm thinking about the electricity bill or say the things I overheard or something. It just takes a few worthwhile moments to realize that every second of every day of every year is there for you and you're there for it - like a partnership. I kind of think at times that we just take from life, each day and use it, life a tool and I wonder if someone ever notices that? Here's a very silly thought: Perhaps we owe life more than we take from it, perhaps we should be mindful that its there not only for the taking, but for the giving. Is it watching us? What we do, how we do it? Probably not, that would be silly! How though would one pay back life? Perhaps we owe life, enough to pay it back, by doing something great, by being happy, by understanding it, appreciating it. Maybe that payback is just realisation and happiness. I can't imagine one might ever know what is truly what one could do for life, but perhaps being more, seeing life this way, might be it? i dunno but i'd like to see... Started some new project at work, feelin' real good about this. Recently came up with 2 solutions while sleeping which is interesting. I must sleep better. I got an activity band which helps me track my sleep which is useful. Hopefully I can be a little more insightful about my efforts moving forward.... dunno, man