Yesterday's run was tough. I had a cramp in my side from the very beginning and it just made it so much more difficult. At times I could slow down and just look at everything - that was nice, that just makes the cramp hurt less. But after while of looking around and slowing down, it dissipated and although it was easier, my remaining run was still quite strained.

Funny thing is that my time wasn't all that bad...huh wierd. I figure it's because I ain't sleeping too well lately. I run better on good sleep. I don't know what it is. I go to bed and just stare into the blackness of my eyelids and sometimes think, sometimes remember what happened in the day or something else. Maybe its the upcoming exams? Unhanded assignment? Work? Dunno... Its been like this for about a week now.

That said, I've been running, and gyming a lot and they say, "Don't eat too late". That's what everyone says. You should eat well before you go to bed. I don't always follow this, because at times I'm hungry before I go to bed, so I eat. Don't eat too late. That's what everyone else says.

You know, you start listening to what everyone says and you stop listening to what you say... I always find advice a particularly interesting paradox which, like most things, sure has its time and uses and wisdom. Far be it for me to entirely neglect others experiences but generally I feel only that our own experiences really tell us we're are living, albeit at a greater risk. But we're only talking about sleeping here. But maybe they're right in this instance(eating before bed). 

Anyway, the other day, a while back now, over the weekend, I was walking back from the gym at night, I was about to pass a bus stop and then I glanced real-quick at its contents, and then this one girl stepped out of the darkness towards me and asked me if I could buy them(two girls) tobacco from this news agent, she pointed at it, behind the bus stop. It was lit up, the bus stop was in the dark, it was around ten at night, Saturday, and I looked at them, then at the street, maybe I seemed friendly or something but it just seemed out of place really, too young, pretty but too young to be smoking. I said "yeah, if they take cards, but I doubt it" which I know they don't normally take. But it was risky because some do. They asked again, would I do it for them? I looked at them, hesitated, but found what I wanted to say easily as my brain was particularly on the ball that night, surprisingly and I said with a certain kinda casual finesse: "I'd prefer not to". They turned and said ok. I said ok. And that was that. Capish. And I thought to myself slightly hazed, "yeah, I'd prefer not to..." And kept repeating that to myself as I crossed the road wondering how my brain had delivered so well all by itself, so automatically as if I wasn't part of the internal discussion. I carried on thinking about my just-now fancy footwork as i walked on towards the train station. Felt like the right thing to do but I felt like automatic. I'm not sure what else I might have said. Still, I thought about that as I climbed onto the Train towards Waterloo. Bizarr-o!

That was Saturday evening. Earlier I had bought myself a new pair of shoes that I'd been scrutinising and had agonisingly considered for the past three weeks. I also bought a blue shirt and a belt to go with these new leather shoes of mine. I went for a walk in them around Wimbledon common. It was a good day and they felt real good, are modest and strong. I wish everything was like this.

There is this laundrette down the road from me. It's classic. Ive said this before, I might have seen it in a movie somewhere. It's vintage really, real 80's. one day I'll visit I think. Just to see.

I have found myself thinking about a very interesting phrase lately. It's about stupid risks that some people take. For example, taking the decision to cross a busy road or perhaps less stupid but still a good example, hurling ones self of a bridge attached to an elastic band or dispatching oneself from a moving airplane only to hurry back down to earth...that sort of stupid junk. Anyway, The phrase is that "you only die once". Right? makes complete and utter sense to me. And as such why risk it? Anyway that's how I feel about Bungie jumping, crossing busy roads and to a limited degree the tube collapsing and dying generally...because generally you only die once. Unless you don't, but if that happens one should keep that to yourself, generally. I sound paranoid or scared but I'm not I'm just real curious and careful! Now that I think about it, perhaps I am paranoid, like that guy in the movie, "Fantastic fear of everything" where the dudes convinced that all people have an agenda which is to kill him. But I'm sure if I told him my little phrase, he'd understand...

My very specialized running watch had a brain fart this evening and logged only 6 minutes or my run today. Thats all I have to say about that.