Did that 10km run that I'd been training for.
We started at 10am and finished an hour or so later. Must say that I enjoyed more the scenery than anything, people came out of their houses and were clapping and cheering and this one family had Jelly Babies-to-go - we(there was two of us that left together and finished together) had some of those! That was around the 3km mark, so that replenished our glucose-energy store(I'm a pro-athlete, I can speak like that now). True to our training me and my mate headed off, maintaining the pace through out the race, which was probably what got us to the end. What didn't help I suppose was us talking the whole way but I think it was sorta like motivation to keep on going. It's strange how we double up the distances already run and mentally , say we can do this - we already done x KMs so it's OK. A lot to do with psychology I suppose, a fight with perception. Good.
I must say it's amazing how good you feel running. Even more so when total strangers come out to say, "Cmon, nearly there, well done...". I would have just come out for that to be honest - that and the ability to run through the town, seeing stuff and pretty much just soaking up the atmosphere.
We finished, got medals and joked that pretty much I wasn't going to take my medal off...ever. I was my first race. I wondered around after the race, just watching people, the colours, shapes and sizes, the sounds and faces all at times too much for me to take but as I've come to learn, since being in England about 4 years ago, just got to stop, stand still and do nothing and just relax and watch things in front of me - it allow me to get 'out' of it and it's easier to observe when I think I'm not involved in it.
I stood, at the end, on the athletic track, waiting for the toddler and mother race to start and for a minute there, I had replaced a past picture in my head of how I saw the western world out from my little plot in rural South Africa, only now I was there in the flesh: I have this slow-mo frame by frame account of this one mother and toddler laughing as they looked back at people and ran. Pretty amazing yet seemingly so normal - the sense of community is different here. Just thinking, it's the kind of place my mother would enjoy so much, I'm sad at times that she is not here.
Coming to think about it, at the hotel last night I watched a movie about Sandra Laing which transported me back to my beginnings and struck me with an intense deja vu watching the age of the cars in the movie, there was the distinctive sound of a volksvagen beetle which reminded me of our Fiat 1100 on dirt roads and how I was at times embarrassed at how simple it looked but really my parents were always right. The accents and general way of life and I realised then too, how privileged my life is and how it has changed. From an independent dusty farm road, shorts and bare feet to sharing the smiles and fun of a mother and child in the western world so different to mine.
There is a sense of yearning, i suppose ,an underlying purpose that calls me to South Africa. But for now, just being here, seeing people I have come to know, writes a strange new chapter in my life which is uplifting, exciting and somewhat comfortable but at the same time somehow estranges me from me.
There was a water point half way and I don't know why but I remember the myriad of translucent plastic cups covering the road like soft blue petals spread out. It's weird things like that that I remember the most in life.
In all honestly, the race was not difficult, nor did I find it difficult - I guess the training I had been doing had payed off and I'm happy it did. I'm just thinking that ill probably continue to train this way moving forward as it's healthy and I rather enjoy my body feeling energised, stronger and it's a good way to feel the world around me.
I've done so much harder things in my life that this and now thinking back to my past in South Africa, the uncertainties and difficulties and hardships to be who I am today, this makes me feel that I'm getting weaker. But it's different weakness, just like the race today - its not a physical weakness or endurance but a mental one.
That said, other things in my life are ao much better - confidence, social interactions, independence etc..
Went to the pub after the run, I don't drink but I had one and you know you're a light-weight when after one pint I was feeling mellow. Sat outside and I watched people talk in front of me and realised that I was part of this even though as usual it seemed as I was just there and looking in from behind my eyes and my body was just a robot to transporting me.
I had a conversation with a younger family member when I got to St. Pancreas from Ashford and it was wonderful to share that I was there, take photos and share them in real life time- I put myself In south Africa right then and having someone show me where they were right now abroad, in England would have been so great for me. You realise how you miss things.
But I'm strong and stubborn at the same time so I'll get over it (another skill I'm honing)
I think I know what I remember the most from South Africa, thinking about it now in relation to England- it's the drama, strain and simplicity of struggle that in a strange way I yearn. Perhaps i associate it with family which i don't have here but generally too i suppose. Perhaps when you deal with it so much, when you don't have it, you feel a little lost. That said, life is beautiful wherever it is.
Just ordered dinner, from my computer from my apartment at 10 'o clock at night and again realise how different my life has become but at the sane time how wonderful it is!
We started at 10am and finished an hour or so later. Must say that I enjoyed more the scenery than anything, people came out of their houses and were clapping and cheering and this one family had Jelly Babies-to-go - we(there was two of us that left together and finished together) had some of those! That was around the 3km mark, so that replenished our glucose-energy store(I'm a pro-athlete, I can speak like that now). True to our training me and my mate headed off, maintaining the pace through out the race, which was probably what got us to the end. What didn't help I suppose was us talking the whole way but I think it was sorta like motivation to keep on going. It's strange how we double up the distances already run and mentally , say we can do this - we already done x KMs so it's OK. A lot to do with psychology I suppose, a fight with perception. Good.
I must say it's amazing how good you feel running. Even more so when total strangers come out to say, "Cmon, nearly there, well done...". I would have just come out for that to be honest - that and the ability to run through the town, seeing stuff and pretty much just soaking up the atmosphere.
We finished, got medals and joked that pretty much I wasn't going to take my medal off...ever. I was my first race. I wondered around after the race, just watching people, the colours, shapes and sizes, the sounds and faces all at times too much for me to take but as I've come to learn, since being in England about 4 years ago, just got to stop, stand still and do nothing and just relax and watch things in front of me - it allow me to get 'out' of it and it's easier to observe when I think I'm not involved in it.
I stood, at the end, on the athletic track, waiting for the toddler and mother race to start and for a minute there, I had replaced a past picture in my head of how I saw the western world out from my little plot in rural South Africa, only now I was there in the flesh: I have this slow-mo frame by frame account of this one mother and toddler laughing as they looked back at people and ran. Pretty amazing yet seemingly so normal - the sense of community is different here. Just thinking, it's the kind of place my mother would enjoy so much, I'm sad at times that she is not here.
Coming to think about it, at the hotel last night I watched a movie about Sandra Laing which transported me back to my beginnings and struck me with an intense deja vu watching the age of the cars in the movie, there was the distinctive sound of a volksvagen beetle which reminded me of our Fiat 1100 on dirt roads and how I was at times embarrassed at how simple it looked but really my parents were always right. The accents and general way of life and I realised then too, how privileged my life is and how it has changed. From an independent dusty farm road, shorts and bare feet to sharing the smiles and fun of a mother and child in the western world so different to mine.
There is a sense of yearning, i suppose ,an underlying purpose that calls me to South Africa. But for now, just being here, seeing people I have come to know, writes a strange new chapter in my life which is uplifting, exciting and somewhat comfortable but at the same time somehow estranges me from me.
There was a water point half way and I don't know why but I remember the myriad of translucent plastic cups covering the road like soft blue petals spread out. It's weird things like that that I remember the most in life.
In all honestly, the race was not difficult, nor did I find it difficult - I guess the training I had been doing had payed off and I'm happy it did. I'm just thinking that ill probably continue to train this way moving forward as it's healthy and I rather enjoy my body feeling energised, stronger and it's a good way to feel the world around me.
I've done so much harder things in my life that this and now thinking back to my past in South Africa, the uncertainties and difficulties and hardships to be who I am today, this makes me feel that I'm getting weaker. But it's different weakness, just like the race today - its not a physical weakness or endurance but a mental one.
That said, other things in my life are ao much better - confidence, social interactions, independence etc..
Went to the pub after the run, I don't drink but I had one and you know you're a light-weight when after one pint I was feeling mellow. Sat outside and I watched people talk in front of me and realised that I was part of this even though as usual it seemed as I was just there and looking in from behind my eyes and my body was just a robot to transporting me.
I had a conversation with a younger family member when I got to St. Pancreas from Ashford and it was wonderful to share that I was there, take photos and share them in real life time- I put myself In south Africa right then and having someone show me where they were right now abroad, in England would have been so great for me. You realise how you miss things.
But I'm strong and stubborn at the same time so I'll get over it (another skill I'm honing)
I think I know what I remember the most from South Africa, thinking about it now in relation to England- it's the drama, strain and simplicity of struggle that in a strange way I yearn. Perhaps i associate it with family which i don't have here but generally too i suppose. Perhaps when you deal with it so much, when you don't have it, you feel a little lost. That said, life is beautiful wherever it is.
Just ordered dinner, from my computer from my apartment at 10 'o clock at night and again realise how different my life has become but at the sane time how wonderful it is!