Fell asleep in front of the tv today. Woke up on the sofa, with a stiff neck. Got up and went for a run down to the gym. Got there, did 15 minutes of gym and walked back home. While I was walking back, the traffic seemed to soothing against the blackness of the night. It was as if I was watching the colours of the world move onto a black canvass before me. The wind was gently blowing from behind and it cooled me down.

My feet are hurting, each step I take, they hurt and I battle to walk but each step in between the confusion of the pain, the gentle soothing wind and the beauty that is the night's sky and the lights of the occasional oncoming traffic - I realise how wonderful life is.

The singularity for some breeds loneliness and despair, for me its a opportunity to feel who I am and discover what I am. I think for much of my life growing up, I was essentially unconscious, always 6 steps behind but being ok with that - i was like walking through a forest in a race, when before you it had been run through already by so many and this was my first time. I think my whole life has been catching up, realising and understanding, that which perhaps many know already. But i like doing it by myself. I

like walking up the stairs to my apartment, walking to my door, reaching in my pocket for my keys and bringing them to the key hole, opening the door and knowing that the cold, crisp air that meets me is mine. I like walking in and feeling the carpet in-between my toes. I love the touch of the wall against my hands, the darkness and the freedom. Sometimes I don't even turn on the light, I just walk over to my sofa and sit there and listen. I listen to the sirens outside, the wind and the silence. I love knowing what i do, is exactly that, that which i do and it affects no one and no one is looking for it to affect them. I don't have to watch out for anyone, i dont have to worry and i dont have to make anyone feel good about themselves. I'm done with that.